25 Random Facts About Me by Guest Blogger George Washington.

Today, I am also having my good friend, George Washington, the 1st President of the Unites States, do his twenty-five random facts. Take it away, George.

Thanks, Sully, it's good to be here and thanks for letting me share some information about me with your readers. By the way, my ghost will be singing autographs at the Regency Square Mall in Richmond, VA along with Gilbert Gottfried, Tiffany and the guy who did the voice of Starscream in the Transformers cartoon on November 19th.

1. I never did cut down that cherry tree. I mean, what the hell was I going to do with a chopped down cherry tree?

2. There's been a lot of talk about how I owned slaves. The fact of the matter was I DIDN'T want to own slaves, but they were a gift from my Aunt Wilma and she really knew how to make you feel guilty if you refused a gift. Seriously, there was no talking to that woman.

3. The Philadelphia Convention, where we wrote the Constitution? Everyone was so drunk on ale we nearly forgot our names.

4. Fact - my wooden teeth were actually made of ivory.

5. Fact - my teeth were just fine. I just had them pulled and replaced with Ivory teeth because back in those days, chicks dug ivory teeth.

6. I hate to brag, but I actually fought two important battles of the Revolutionary War all by myself using nothing but karate, smoke bombs and a steak knife. I can't tell you what battles they were, but I can tell you we won them.

7. Thomas Jefferson was as big an asshole as history made him out to be.

8. My wife, Martha, was a wonderful woman, wife, mother, and housekeeper. She also insisted we always do it with the candles out.

9. I never wore a wig. I powdered my hair. I know, it seems weird, but it was the fashion at the time and let's face it, is that any more retarded than bell-bottoms or nipple-piercing?

10. The winter at Valley Forge wasn't NEARLY as cold as the look Martha gave me that one year that I forgot our anniversary. Hooo boy!

11. Unlike Obama's inauguration, mine was pretty low key. Ben Franklin did a stand-up routine and the Rolling Stones played a few songs and then everyone went to bed.

12. While the Boston Tea Party was, by far, a significant turning point in the independence of our great nation, honestly, at that point, most Americans really didn't drink all that much tea anymore.

13. I'm really bad at bowling. Like, seriously bad.

14. I am famous for not taking communion at church services. It's not so much that I was anti-religious but more than the sacramental wine we had back then was really horrible.

15. I think Dick Sergeant was a better Darren than Dick York. Sue me.

16. I can't believe marijuana is illegal. Seriously? This is what you people have done to my country?

17. Cut Bill Clinton some slack. Adams, Jefferson and myself used to bang interns on a regular basis.

18. On December 22nd, 1799 I spent several hours inspecting my farms on horseback in the freezing rain. Later that evening I sat down to dine without changing my wet clothes. I would die two days later of pneumonia. In retrospect, I should have probably put on a robe or something.

19. I don't care what you say, Britney Spears is HOT.

20. Fuck John J. Pershing.

21. The Whiskey Rebellion was a real pain in the ass, I don't think I need to tell you that.

22. I'm on Mount Rushmore and you're not.

23. "I Love A Rainy Night" is my karaoke crowd pleaser.

24. My Blood Elf Hunter in World of Warcraft is only level 65. What can I say, I've been busy IRL.

25. God, do I love cheetos.